


The Motorbike Mistake

by poselikeateam



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Motorcycles, Muggle Technology, Muggle obsession, Origin Story, Sirius' flying motorcycle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 13:08:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7269583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poselikeateam/pseuds/poselikeateam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Honestly, it's all Remus Lupin's fault.</p><p>Or: the one in which Sirius first learns about motorcycles.</p><p>Short story about how Sirius got his flying motorcycle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Motorbike Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> I was at work today, on break, texting my girlfriend, and this happened. That's really all I have to say. Hope you enjoy! (Also, for those of you following it, Dark Moons should update relatively soon. Thanks for your patience!)

Remus huffed as he dropped another pack of magazines at Sirius' feet. "Here, Padfoot," he grumbled, "more of your Muggle contrabad." It was another rainy Saturday morning where Sirius had missed another Saturday breakfast because of a detention. Because of that, he missed the owls, and because of _that_ Remus had to haul the magazines his parents sent him up to the Common Room, even though it wasn't for him. 

Sirius' parents, being the high-and-mighty Pureblooded twats that they were, hated anything Muggle. This, of course, meant that Sirius needed to collect as many Muggle things as he could. Enter one Remus Lupin, half-blood best friend of Sirius. He knew, at least vaguely, how the Muggle world worked. Everything he explained to Sirius, no matter how mundane to him, suddenly became fascinating, exciting, otherworldly. When Remus explained that Muggles also had magazines, Sirius decided that he absolutely needed one.

Of course, there was a problem with that. To Muggles, neither Hogwarts nor Grimmauld Place existed. They didn't use owl post, and Muggle post was far too confusing ("It's really not, Pads, I've explained it at least six times by now...") for poor Sirius Black.

Again, enter one Remus Lupin. 

It was all James' idea, of course. He offered to help, of course, but his parents would have no idea what to do with Muggle post. "Why can't you just give Moony the money, he changes it over to that Muggle shite at Gringotts, and he orders the magazines?"

"Prongs, you're a genius!" Sirius grinned, planting a sloppy kiss on his best friend's cheek (much to everyone's chagrin, as per usual). "Then his parents can just owl it here! And they'll know how the Muggle post works!" 

Remus tried to argue at first, of course, but caved about as quickly as usual. He ended up writing a list of as many magazines as he could think of, and Sirius circled all the most interesting-sounding ones and sent the list back. That was in third year, and they were now coming to the end of their fifth.

This month, one of those magazines had an advert for something called a "motorcycle".

"Hey, Moony?" Sirius asked, taking a pause from fliping through the magazine. 

"Yes?"

"What's a motorcycle?"

Remus cast him a sidelong glance. "Why?" He couldn't keep the suspicion out of his tone. A question like that, coming from Sirius? Never a good sign.

"Well, there's an advert for it. It looks wonky. What's it do?" Sirius turned the magazine this way and that, and Remus had to pinch the bridge of his nose to keep from either laughing or sighing. He wasn't sure which was more appropriate at that specific moment.

"You've seen bicycles, right?"

"What the hell is a bicycle?"

Okay, thought Remus, this is going to be harder than I thought.

"It looks a lot like that," Remus said, pointing at the picture. "By the way, that's a motorcycle, but let's start with bicycles first. Muggles don't have brooms. They ride these metal frames with wheels that you pedal with your feet to get moving, and steer with your hands on these handlebars, here." 

"Mad," Sirius muttered, staring at the picture.

"Yes," Remus said with a small smirk that he couldn't contain, "well, a motorcycle is a bit like that, but different. Instead of peddling it, it's run by this thing called a motor. I've never ridden one, so I'm not sure entirely how it works, but I think it has something to do with the handlebars. It's rather loud when the engine runs - sorry, the engine and the motor are the same thing, I think. Anyway, it runs on petrol - I've explained petrol, right - and is very fast and dangerous."

As soon as the words 'fast and dangerous' escaped his lips, Remus knew that he had made a horrible mistake. He could almost feel the gears turning in Sirius' head from his seat next to him. 

"It's so stupid, it's cool! And it'll piss off everyone I know. This is bloody brilliant, Moony! I need ten."

Remus was shaking his head, but James, who was sitting in the nearest squishy armchair, sat up excitedly.

"No," Remus said. "Sirius, no. What are you even going to do with it? You can't even drive it anywhere. If it flew it'd be differ-" He stopped, horrostruck at the looks on his friends' faces. "Sirius, NO."

"SIRIUS YES!" both Sirius and James shouted in unison.

Remus hoped that this idea would be fleeting, would pass before they graduated - they had two years before they were to leave Hogwarts, after all. However, much to his chagrin, he was wrong. As soon as they graduated, Sirius bought and enchanted that damned motorcycle, and Remus Lupin knew that he would never, ever live it down.


End file.
